Today I faced the difficulty a mother faces in continuing on with life through the weight of great disappointment. This morning the final nail was driven into the coffin of a dream. After months of study and calculated effort I learned my last attempt to achieve this dream was a failure. And then I had to act happy for my children.
What made things more difficult was a radical change in schedule. Each time I gained control of my emotions another raindrop--in the form of disruption--fell.
I believe in signs and consider this to be a sign of my not being ready for my dream. I have another year to prepare myself to be worthy of this dream. As time goes on my chance of receiving it fades. I hope my resolve holds out and strength to continue keeps my despair at a distance.
I hoped to train myself to enjoy each day as it comes, but I fear only by looking forward can I make it to the next stage. My consolation is the holidays closing in. With them time will be fleeting and I must use each moment to gain the right to claim my dream.
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What is this dream? I hate reading this and not knowing the dream because you have worked hard for everything you have-you can't give up, right? But I don't know what the dream is.
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